i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
You made out with two different species that night
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
