I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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