he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
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