My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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