OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Don't make me do math I'm drunk and full of chicken
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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