Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
So what's it like to be pregnant?
It feels like I'm hungover and when I was drunk I was kicked off a mechanical bull and then trampled.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
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