I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was passed out in a bathroom stall. Of course im going to look like shit
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
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