Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
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