You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Randomize
