i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
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