i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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