Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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