I heard we made out
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
Randomize
