When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
It's Friday. Sex?
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
