I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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