umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
