ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
