I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Randomize
