I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I am far too drunk to be making a tuna melt . There's blood EVERYWHERE.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
