i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
Randomize
