butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
Randomize