If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Randomize
