two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
