blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
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