ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
