Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
