I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Randomize
