My mom caught just caught me jerking off...in her room.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
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