i was born a porn star she said
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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