Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
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