I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
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You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
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