you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we fucked to don't stop believing. most epic sex EVER.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
