i think i have herpe
just one?
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Randomize
