she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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