a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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