Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
