What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
tell your sister to shave her snatch
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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