Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
