Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
