You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
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I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
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