So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
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