He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
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