friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He wrote his entire dissertation last night. I can only imagine the frightening amount of headway he would make if he ever did things sober.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
