She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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