If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Randomize
