We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
