her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
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