I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Randomize