i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Ladies don't puke and tell
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
