WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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