I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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