I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
My ass is underappreciated
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
