We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I need a hoe opinion
go on
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