dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
