maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
