I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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