guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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