when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
