I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Randomize
