So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
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