bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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