Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
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