Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
someone threw a dead crab at me
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
