I accidentally burped into my bong.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
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