How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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