trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
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