Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Randomize
