Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
we're making bets on your personal life
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
