so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
